How to Say Hello to a Cat

Crouch, turn sideways, don't stare

So you've met a cat you've liked, you want to go up and say hello. Wait right there: you need to get this right, or that tail is walking away from you for ever.

First, crouch down, and turn sideways from the cat. Don't position your body head-on, or stare into his or her eyes. Cats are a prey and a predator species, which means they first need to assess whether you will eat them, or they can eat you.

Laura Borromeo, an ethologist who has studied cats for over 25 years across continents, advises you want to be the latter.

Sit still and call out softly

Now sit still, and call out to her or him. It doesn't matter what you say, as long as it is low in volume and in a sing-song tone. Our ditty is something that goes: Allo itty-bitty-kitty. Aren't you a lovely little one. Do you want to come play? Can we eat your little nosey?

Offer a finger and watch the nose

Then put out your index finger and watch the nose: do the whiskers move forward? Does the cat stretch out her neck to sniff your finger?

That's a good sign. Highly socialised cats may even rub their whole body against you — a very, very good sign, that.

Stay still, like a statue. If she rubs her face against your finger, or advances closer, consider the friendship request accepted. But that is not an invitation to pick her up.

Let the cat choose where you touch

She will now indicate the areas she is okay with being petted. It's usually a light-fingered massage or tickle between the ears, on the cheeks and under the chin, or even behind the ears.

Travelling below the neck might be considered too familiar, too soon; and bellies are out of bounds for most cats. A hiss, a swat of the paw and moving away will tell you when you have gone too far — and don't repeat it.

Don't be disheartened. Go back to step one and wait. Walk along the wall and don't look directly at the cat. Never follow him or her if they seek safety.